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We walked in silence for a bit.
She then says, "Mama, I'm scared.".
Me: "Honey, I know you are. I'm scared too. But you know what? We have each other and you do not have to go through this alone. Steve and I are going to be right by your side every step of the way."
Daughter: "Mama, why me??"
Me: "Sometimes bad things happen. No rhyme or reason, they just happen. BUT, this is when we can lean on our faith and trust that God will do as He always does, uses things like this for our greater good."
Daughter: "So God doesn't make bad things happen, right? Does the Devil make bad things happen?"
Me: "Sometimes, but sweetheart we live in a fallen world, where there is sickness, war and famine. Again, sometimes there is no rhyme or reason."
Daughter: "I'm scared."
Me: "What does your name mean?"
Daughter: "Strong, you named me Bryanna because it means strong".
Me: "I knew from the first time you kicked me when you were in my belly that you were a strong, STRONG soul and you needed a name to fit what I already knew in my heart about you. Life is hard sometimes. It throws us curve balls. You can cry. You can scream if you need to. Hit a pillow. It's ok. You are a strong young woman, but you are human and you are allowed to express how you feel. Sometimes it takes more strength to let it all out then to keep it inside. You, my daughter, are strong. Again, you are not alone and I will be here every step of the way. When you don't feel so strong, lean on me baby girl. I'll carry you through this, we will get to the other side and this will just be a distant memory, a hurdle to overcome. You can do this, we can do this together baby girl."
Daughter: "I love you."
Me: "I love you! This kinda sucks huh?"
Daughter: "Mama, I am not allowed to say that!"
Me: "Yeah, well it does suck and I can't think of a better word at the moment! But hey kiddo, if you are gonna have a tumor, THIS is the one to have! More than likely after your MRI you will just need to take some medicine and it will do it's magic and you will be just fine!"
Daughter: *laughs* "Yeah, this sucks. But we'll get through it together. I love you Mama.
Me: "I love you baby, with all my heart and everything I am."
5 BackSeat Drivers:
Hi Jenn! Yes, I have had an MRI. Other people made it worse than what it was. I closed my eyes when I started to feel the machine taking me into the tube and I kept them closed. It's like going into a time tube. I figured what I didn't see wouldn't frighten me. It was very noisy like listening to someone pounding on a metal garbage can with me on the inside. However, then they started to play music of my choice on the radio. Still keeping my eyes closed, I focused on listening to the music and before I knew it, I thought I was drowsing off to sleep. I was a little startled to hear the technician speaking to me and interrupting my music! (I listen to modern-day music, by the way.) Before I knew it I was sliding back out! I believe they will even play one of your own CD's. The hard part is lying still when you want to jiggle to the beat! I wish you and your daughter well and please give her a hug for me and tell her to be brave! With love, Rosie
Jenn,
Beautiful conversation. I don't know many moms who could have handled it any better. We are praying for you and your daughter. I shared your needs with my worship team this morning. We are all praying.
Jenn, that was beautiful! You handled that so well, with such grace and love. You're daughter seems like an amazing girl! You are both so lucky to have each other, and the wonderful thing is that you both seem to know it! In my continued thoughts and prayers.
Christina
Hello Mama,
I know with a mom like you by her side she will get thru this, and you both will be much stronger for this experience. God will be there for the both of you... Just keep trusting him...
Love Ya,
Marla
May the Lord continue to give you the words to speak to Bryanna. Have a blessed day.
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